Sadness stinks

In general, I try extremely hard to find the positives in each and every day.  I mean, when you get down to it, there are a LOT of things for each of us to be thankful for, even when it feels like the exact opposite.  But sometimes you hit a rut of sadness, even depression, and it is extremely hard to get out of.  I know this feeling all too well.

I'm often asked "how do you always stay positive"?  Ask my husband... I don't.  I just rarely share that side of me, especially on social media.  Even when something sad is happening, I try to focus on the brighter moments or memories.  Why?  Because I know myself, and I know depression is a very slippery slope that I've slid down before.  I don't like myself when I'm there.  I also try to always do my best to help others stay positive, as I don't want to see them fall down that slope either.

Don't ever feel bad for feeling sad, though.  Sometimes we have reasons, and sometimes we don't.  And that's OK!  We are complex beings and often things just don't make sense.  It can take time to sort through it and come out on the other side.  For me, I find that it's important to acknowledge every emotion.  See if you can find why you might be feeling that way.  Brainstorm ideas on what might help you work past it or turn it into a more positive situation.  Call someone to talk/scream/yell/cry about it.  Start a journal and write it all out.  Work with a therapist.  Join a support group. Getting those feelings OUT is so cathartic and good for you.

I've run a couple of groups via Facebook called "Push for Positivity", and I thought I'd share some of those tips here.  These groups are most successful around the holidays and in winter.  I know that's always a downer time for me as I reflect on loved ones who are no longer with us.  The dark, gloomy, cold days sure don't help anything, either.  The intention of the group is to start new habits that get you seeing the brighter side of things.  The more you do them, the more likely you are to continue doing them.  So here are some things I recommend you try to do daily to keep your focus where it needs to be:

1. Pick one thing you are looking forward to today.
2. Catch a stranger doing something right, kind, or lovely.  Simply notice it.
3. Find something beautiful in one thing that could be easily overlooked.
4. Identify one thing you appreciate in someone you know.  If you're feeling brave, tell them.
5. Before you fall asleep, think of one thing you did to make this world a little better today.

You don't have to do all 5 every day, at least not at first.  These are just ideas to get you seeing things perhaps a different way than you do now.

I also like to use daily affirmations each morning, to set the tone for the whole day.  Here's an example:

You might be thinking "what a loon.  Words can't fix how I'm feeling".  And you might be right.  But it's worth a shot, isn't it?

~K